Post It Note Wisdom #3 - Bad News
The last couple of weeks we've been exploring what I call Post-It Note Wisdom... little kernels
of truth to keep us moving forward, making good decisions, executing wisely, and reaping the
fruit of that wisdom day after day. I know, I know.... you're scratching your head over the last
one, if you listened! If not, this is your invitation! Start at the beginning with Post It Note
Wisdom #1: Life Accumulates. That one is pretty obvious in its intent. Post It Note Wisdom
#2... not so clear, maybe. "Am I dreamin' of the 'tater hole?" It is the question you ask when
you aren't moving forward. It'll remind you to take the next best step.
Today's Post-It Note tidbit of wisdom comes from my husband. Yeah, yeah... this is the same
guy who thought my insights needed to be posted on my forehead rather than a tattoo. God love
him. I talked about my mother's practical nature last time, and there are definite parallels... I
don't know that I can prove I married my mother, but there are clues! Jeff is definitely not a
dreamin' of the 'tater hole kinda guy. Practical, accomplishment driven, and steady, just like my
mom. We're always working out our childhoods with our partners, aren't we?
So his bit of wisdom fits beautifully on a post-it note and I think you're gonna see the
possibilities and implications right away. Here we go...
Bad news does not improve with age. Let me say it again... Bad news does not improve with
age.
It's the proverbial broccoli-in-your-teeth scenario, right? Better to hear it from a friend
BEFORE you are introduced to your date. You want someone to tell you BEFORE you go on
stage that your dress is tucked into your spanx. You wanna know if disaster is looming so you
can prepare. At least that's my preference. Some people would prefer NOT to know, but that is
not for me. Give me a head's up! It's not gonna get better until I know!
A few years ago, I was directing the choir at the church we were attending. I was sort of a jack-
of-all trades. I had a keyboard in front of me to pound out vocal parts, and I sang along with the
choir as I taught them, and as we participated in worship each week. So picture it... one hand on
the keyboard, the other hand in the air keeping time, my mouth open and throat stretched
upward to increase my vocal range for the sopranos. I started feeling some discomfort in my
throat, but I dismissed it as the extra workout I was getting week to week at rehearsal.
Then the discomfort increased to the point that if I dropped my chin, my throat would close up
and I'd feel like I was choking, and swallowing was becoming uncomfortable. Weird enough
sensations that this die-hard doctor-avoider booked an appointment to have it checked out.
Turns out, I had a mass on my thyroid gland that was pressing against my esophagus and
trachea. So I scheduled surgery to have my throat slit.
As I informed the choir of my upcoming surgery, one of the members said, "I noticed you had
this lump come up in your throat when you sang the high notes. It would pop out on your neck
like a jack-in-the-box, looked horrible, but I didn't want to say anything because I thought it
would hurt your feelings."
"How long have you been seeing it?" I asked. "Oh, for months, I guess...when we were
practicing for the Christmas program." What? Nearly a year earlier? So that mass had been
growing for a year until it got big enough to cause me to choke, and it had been visible to other
people all that time? And now I had to have a surgery to cut out the mass along with 3/4 of my
thyroid gland. Bad news does not improve with age.
Think about the conversations we tend to procrastinate. Financial set-backs. Health realities.
Job changes. One year I'd hired an assistant for my office. She came highly recommended, and
she was diligent, and while her skill set wasn't exactly what I needed, on the strength of her
references I hired her.
It didn't take long to figure out it wasn't a good fit for me. I needed someone who'd come in
and take care of non-income-producing tasks so I could focus on sales and customers. She
needed someone to be very hands-on to teach her the skills required to do the job. AND she was
a talker. She talked about personal problems and family issues and who had mistreated her that
week... a real "Negative Nelly." And I began to wonder if her references had been strong
because those previous employers wanted rid of her. Her negative energy was the LAST thing I
needed in my office.
But because she was kinda pitiful, I procrastinated letting her go. It got worse and worse, and I
was getting more and more frustrated, but couldn't bring myself to fire her. So... and this is the
crazy part! I started praying that I wouldn't have enough work for her. Praying that I could "lay
her off" rather than fire her to make it easier for me. "So sorry, hon! No need to come in today;
I don't have any work for you!"
Talk about dumb! And gutless! Bad news did not improve with age, and my business tanked in
that season because I didn't have the courage to deliver the bad news. All it would have taken is
"Hey, thank you for working for me these last few weeks. I appreciate your efforts, but it's not a
good fit for me. I'm looking for someone who already has the skill set required, and whose
energy complements my own. I wish you well in your next position." I could have given her a
few weeks' severance pay and saved myself having to rebuild the business affected by her
employment and my discomfort with bad news.
Scripture tells us a story of bad news delivered on time and bad news delayed, and it happened
to the same man! In 2 Samuel chapter 11, King David arranges the murder of Uriah, the faithful
warrior, so that he could cover up the pregnancy of Bathsheba, Uriah's wife that David had
slept with while Uriah was on the battlefield. Bathsheba mourned her husband, but as soon as
the mourning period was over, David had her brought to the palace to be his wife.
The prophet Nathan was sent to David to tell him the bad news. "11 "This is what the LORD says:
'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will
take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in
broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all
Israel.'"
13 Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD."
Nathan replied, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by
doing this you have shown utter contempt for the LORD, the son born to you will die." (2
Samuel 12:11-14)
Bad news not procrastinated. Bad news, but David could respond. Look at what he does:
After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David,
and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights
lying in sackcloth on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up
from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them. (Verses 15-17)
David was able to take action based on what he'd heard from the prophet. Then the predicted
bad news came to pass. Verse 18:
On the seventh day the child died. David's attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was
dead, for they thought, "While the child was still living, he wouldn't listen to us when we spoke
to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate."
19 David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the
child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked.
"Yes," they replied, "he is dead."Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put
on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he
went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.
21 His attendants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you
fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"
22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who
knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23 But now that he is dead, why
should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to
me."
24 Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave
birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The LORD loved him; 25 and because
the LORD loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah [which
means "Loved by the LORD"].
We think we know the outcomes of bad news. That by delaying the inevitable we are somehow
saving someone from pain-maybe especially ourselves-when in fact the opposite is true.
Knowing the reality of a situation equips us to deal with it, and it gives us a starting point from
which to move forward. David knew the child would likely die; he chose to respond with
fasting and prayer. When the bad news of the baby's death finally came, he rose up, washed his
face, and turned to God in worship.
What bad news are you delaying delivering? Ask God for courage and timing to speak.
What bad news are you processing? Ask God for His peace and perspective.
Post It Note Wisdom #1: Life Accumulates
Post It Note Wisdom #2: Are you dreamin' of the 'tater hole?
Post It Note Wisdom #3: Bad news does not improve with age.
I have two more bits of wisdom... I actually have about a dozen and half more, but I'll share
those in another series sometime later. Two more in this series: Another bit from my mom, and
one that came from a friend in business. I can't wait to share them with you!
Father,
Thank you that You told us from the beginning the "bad news"-that we needed a Savior-and
You followed that with the Good News, the Gospel of a Kingdom that will never end, given to
us by Jesus' and his death, burial, and resurrection. Thank you that You are the Great
Redeemer, and that all the bad news we deal with can be used for Your glory and our good in
this life and the life to come. Give us courage and empathy to break bad news on time, and to
reach up to you when we receive bad news. Yours is the power and the glory and the honor,
Lord, and there is nothing that You cannot nor will not walk through with us. Thank you for
Your redeeming presence through it all.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
